Maria Pellicano's Blog


Are you a SPEAKING LIAR?

What does this mean for you the speaker?

Well I think it’s very simple. As communicators we usually know when we’re being lied to. There is something in the person’s TONE that just doesn’t sound quite right or at least not a complete truth.

We all remember the FEELING of a conversation or a presentation more than the words themselves. The feeling effects the quality of the vocal tone. Our voices exposes us and you will probably never know unless you listen to back to yourself on a recording.


'the human voice is the organ of the soul”

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow (poet & educator 1882)


You cannot assess your own vocal tone because what you hear inside your head is not what actually everyone else hears and it's your skull that's to blame. More specifically, it's the way your skull vibrates. This is why professional voice users have a vocal coach to assess the quality of their voice and create the vocal tone that is necessary to have.

A cough, clearing of the throat, unnecessary pauses, speaking too fast or too slow because you are thinking in-between your words, mumbling your words,  all of these vocal behaviours make you believable or not to everyone else.

A VOCAL TIP

Today I was coaching a client who happen to have a clenched jaw.  He tells me it's because he is generally shy. So imagine how he could struggle to impact audiences having a tight clenched jaw making his vocal tone muffled and restricted.   I also picked up that he was incongruent and not really releasing his voice because he was afraid of messing up.   We all feel that we may not be good enough from time to time and unconsciously our voices can be held back such as  showing up as a clenched jaw or a tight tongue.  This why even though I am a vocal coach myself,  I have 5 different master vocal coaches that I work with as over time I can develop bad vocal habits that will eventually effect the quality my speaking and singing.  check out the institute for vocal advancement

 vocal assessment of your voice can help to find out what type of restrictive and limiting vocal behaviour you may have that is impeding on speaking freely and safely.

We are all born with our unique message or song. We have an innate ability to communicate passion with conviction. When we are not congruent with our message,  that is we are not totally convinced we really believe what it is that we are saying or when we are being distracted and thinking about our own personal need instead of the audience we fail to impact and influence others.

Here are 4 steps you can take before you communicate

 Introducing to you:  “The Four Gates of Skilful Speech” speak the truth.

Take a moment to actually ask yourself four questions before you say anything, email or text anyone.

1. Is what I have to say true? Are we actually saying something that is accurate? Also, are we taking responsibility for our own subjective experience, rather than reporting what we've experienced as absolute truth?

2. Is what I have to say necessary? Are you the right person to share what you have to say? Would it be better coming from another person? Is it necessary that it be expressed at all?

3. Is what I am saying kind? Twisting the knife may feel good for a moment, but only because it is what we are used to doing. When we stop trying to hurt the other person with the truth, our expression becomes much more effective, we don't have to force someone to get them to see where we are coming from.

4. Is it the right time? Timing is everything. If you go off on someone via email, you're probably going to experience the reverberations of your bad timing. Give it space, then pick up the phone or see them in person.

To find out more on how you can speak your truth comfortably even when you have a challenge at hand contact me for a strategy session on how to use your voice and heart congruently and deliver and influence with an impactful message that is authentically you.

Maria Pellicano 0409187601 Vocal Tone  Coach.

Director of  Harness Your Voice |  speak with power and influence

https://workshop.harnessyourvoice.com/register


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